Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I enjoy the company of your penis
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