i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
