thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He passed out mid-signature
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
