I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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