my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize