She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
