It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
