I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
So many bounce houses so little time
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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