why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
