I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
