at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize