I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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