i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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