i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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