It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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