The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
