Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
BRING THE BAGELS
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
