I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
