i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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