Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize