Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
