Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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