STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize