Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
