Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
