Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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