absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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