I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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