I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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