angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
