do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize