Who did Billy Mays play for?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
