i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just want nice things and good sex
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
