Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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