I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
