i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
