morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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