I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
