Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
