i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Boobs are out for the taking
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
