I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
