So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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