They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
