Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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