her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
and you fell through a lawn chair
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