areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
