Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
