So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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