So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize