The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize