You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
