I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
