Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
