3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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