Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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