Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
