My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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