we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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