JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
