Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
