I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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