I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
