i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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