New invention idea: vibrating tampons
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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