So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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