i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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