All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
