that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
