i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
