it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
