Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize