Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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