is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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