The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
