Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
